Tag Archives: exploring

Words

Reflecting on these past months my memories are a mix of feelings and words. I remember having blissful discussions, I remember many times being drawn back into the present moment by some interesting conversations and a combination of lexis that helped me connect to the vast space inside.

I can’t quite recall what terms where being used or what was the initial subject of these dialogues, but the feeling of that moment of glimpse when sentences instantly make sense and nothing else can be added into it than a deep sense of comprehension.

It cannot be explained. Yet, I know what you mean.

Words are a powerful tool. And trying to use them wisely is a challenge. I know that the best words come out of my mouth when I just accept them the moment they come into my mind and speak it out. The thinking of “how should I say that?” often leads to miscommunication and misinterpretation. I keep clear thoughts, and with that, I say clear words. But if my mind is busy judging the thinking before the speaking usually the message won’t get there the way it should. Communication is about honesty.

The feeling of speaking out what you think is very freeing and the exposition that comes out of it provides you with very interesting experiences. I’ve been trying my best to get into a silence point before speaking every sentence. I listen to what had been said and try to not create thinking into it, and in that moment between the other person stopped speaking and the wait for my answer I try to keep a clear state of mind and a strong presence on body. And then I let words come out. Unexpectedly, once my mouth is open and sounds come out of it the reasoning keeps developing mostly smoothly, with once sentence completing the other and connecting to a new point of view. If you know me, you’ll probably notice when that happens and I start speaking an unbelievable amount of sentences per minute. They nicknamed me ‘parrot’ at school on grade 2.

While I’m definitely a talker I admit that speaking has made me scare so many times before. The expectation of what I’m supposed to say, the expectation of the way that’ll be interpreted and the need to keep a conversation so it doesn’t fall into that silence considered so terrible and embarrassing between two or more people. By letting go of the fear and being honest with myself and the things that happen inside I learn how to use our words spontaneously, even if that means revealing a perception inside that will make me more vulnerable when faced with other people. And I also noticed that by being honest people open themselves more to whatever they hear. Nothing needs to be said in an aggressive way, instead, words are seen as just observations of the feelings inside each one of us. As different and peculiar they might seem, they are there to support our growing and understanding of life.

I truly believe words are not necessary for communication once we live our 100% full mind-body potential. But since they are so essential in our world now, using them with a strong sense of presence can be as exiting as having the realization of the formless itself through silence.

I started recording on my cellphone some moments when I feel the talking is leading to a beautiful way. When a strong connection is being made between the undefined feeling and the definition that is now being made of it through our verbal realm. Sometimes I think I’m going crazy, but listening to it later on bring me back to the same state I was while having the talking. Maybe these words should be listened more than once.

Anything that brings me back to the present moment is a useful sign that this state is always here. It can be achieved through meditating, through looking at a flower, or through interacting with the world and using the rational definition for it. Which means, words. It’s like listening to a song with happy lyrics and feeling as if you were flying somewhere over the rainbow with it. And the rainbow is always there, the song can always be heard again.

Words are gates. And after fearing so much where they would take me, I’m grateful for them now.

1148289_686298221384025_1508781857_n

*If you were brave enough to stick with me through all this word craziness and is wandering where Compassion is I’ll tell you what: I wrote three posts on it. Yes, three. And still I feel like none of them is close to what could be said about compassion. Oh words, you tricky little things. Maybe that’s too much thinking involved?! Probably. So letting the thinking aside for a minute and focusing on actually experiencing it again. Maybe the gates will open, who knows?!

Nothing else to be said. Stay in love,

Caroline 🙂

Wandering

What is life I wonder
Who can define
Is it a feeling from the body
Or an illusion of the mind

How do I discover
The deeper truths
Travelling in wander
Is the way to move

How am I supposed to live
Contained in a tiny body
When my spirit is free
And my soul is on fire

What words will lead us
To the formless state
Where everything is bright and simple
And pain fades away

For how much longer
Will the human race suffer
For not being in the present moment
And let emotions take over

All useless questions
I am afraid to say
For we don’t need to take action
To connect with our purest state
A moment of attention
A gap from thoughts
And with the right intention
Mind will fall apart
Connect to the feeling
To the sensation inside
For it can be revealing
And show you how to die
Die from things that don’t really matter
Show your infinite space
It’s as simples as an arrow
That cuts the air straight

Eyes closed but there’s still vision
The eternal sacred light
You’re not only an individual
But the whole universe being defined.

Nice to meet you Victoria!

I don’t know how I ended up choosing this city. But to be honest, I’m in love!
Victoria in spring is a pretty enchanting lady.

IMG_20130325_081137First of all, it was not that easy to get into the city. I feel kinda of embarrassed, but I have a lot of stuff! I’m not good at traveling light.

So me and my huge backpack had to take a 20 min(full) bus, to get to a Sky train station, to go to another station, to take another bus to get to the ferry station!

My back is strong, men!

The good part of having a backpack on your back? People talk to you 🙂 So I had this really cute 70 something years old asian lady talking to me for about half my way into the ferry station. She had the cutest laugh.

And i took the big boat to the beautiful island of Victoria!

After another 1h30min in the ferry, another bus and a taxi trip me and my backpack arrived in my new place, tired but saved.

IMG_20130315_160111

When i decided to come to Canada i knew i was coming to an expensive country. Every 1CAD costs me 2,14R$. That’s a lot of money. So i knew that in order to have a good lifestyle I would have to find a cheap accommodation.

I was very lucky. I put and add on craiglist and also on the sub-group on Couch Surfing. I talked a little bit about myself and asked for any cheap place, just for 3 months. I also suggested $350 as a monthly payment. That was about half the price normally listed on those websites. And waited for the best.

To my surprise I had about 10 answers! A lot of good and nice people. But Kevin’s answer was really cool, he wrote a lot about the place and we kept in touch since late january. I was really impressed at how beautiful the house is! Honestly, is the best in the street.

IMG_20130315_160137

I arrived there and there was nobody home. So a sweet gray cat came to greet me.

IMG_20130315_161533

Later on my flatmate explained that the house is actually from 1917. When all around this neighborhood was farmland, this was the big house on the farm. This made me love it even more. The universe is always finding me old houses.

So I spent the rest of the day unpacking and getting to know my new home. I have this sweet and comfy little room upstairs, and honestly I really love it. It’s like my own little space hidden from the rest of the house.

On the next day I woke up ready to do some exploring! I took the bus downtown and took a long walk in amazement around the waterfront. I had no destination, I was just walking and soaking up the kind energy of my new city. I saw all the tress blossoming and breathed the sweet fragrance they were expelling. I dreamed about having my own home boat…

IMG_20130316_134138I stopped to watch a magician making tricks for coins on the street and as he finished his show I received a text from my first travel buddy in Victoria:

IMG_20130316_154149This is Rami. We met on the bus after the ferry the day before (the backpack working again). He was in Victoria for the weekend and looking for people to explore the city. Perfect match! We met right when I was getting tired of walking by my own, and he showed me what became my favorite part of the city: The beach!

IMG_20130325_164218

 

Those mountains by the water are actually Washington. Crazy, right?

I absolutely loved all the way that brings you into the beach. A lot of people walking with their dogs, and I had to be strong to not stop and pet each one of them. On the way to the beach you also pass by Cook St. My favorite street so far. If the city of my dreams would have a lot of stylish cafés, ethnic food and organic local stores, the city of my dreams is Cook St.

I finally surrender and tried my first Canadian Latte(I’m quite picky about lattes and found them to be too expensive here). It was perfect! Perfect amount of coffee and foam. Ahhh, it feels good!

Rami and I also tried some mexican food.IMG_20130316_160648I don’t remember if this was a fajita or a tortilla, anyway, it could be made vegan and was just $2,50. Score!

We ate and talked and came back to the beach to continue our walk and watch those brave people doing kitesurfing. It was sooo windy. I would never put myself with a kite into the water. But i guess i’m just too afraid.

IMG_20130316_154202It was a lovely afternoon and I truly pictured myself living here for a looong time. Getting a dog and walking it by dallas road while drinking some latte… Life is too full of options!

By the evening it was time to meet my flatmate’s friends. It was St Patrick’s Day, so i wore all the green clothes i had and we headed downtown to a club.

IMG_20130316_232334

Pretty nice place. I personally like the country space the best. I didn’t bring that many bras, so none of those are mine. But they had some funny things written on them.

They also had free peanuts! I left with my belly full.

My flatmate’s friends are such nice people. Everybody really friendly and smiley. I’m glad i found this house!

Well, this is such a long post! I guess traveling alone is making me inspired. My adventures in Victoria continued to grow, and my love for the city too. Time to focus on my studies now. Wish me good luck!

IMG_20130324_193226